outcasts and social choices

I write because i really just sit on my bed in the dark or walk around the shops when i'm bored, so that said- i have a lo of time on my hands, especially on sundays.

as someone who is only 14 i don't know everything, nor do pretend to, but i was pondeing while i took a lingering look at my school if i could istinguish people into their cliques with one look, no i couldn't. society gets confused with all these film coming out today about how one must 'be themselves' to truly be happy, but then there's the other movies where people want to change themselves to suit other peoples expectations. society is impressionable, in retrospect all the decades seemed cool and individual, this decade seems boring and uninsppired, musicwise and fashionwise at least, but the outcasts of high school were different. everyone thought them weird just because they didnt dress the same or listen to the same kinds of music, but they are generally less effected by mainstream industry, they might be effected by no industry, or by one that is less well known.

people are generally hostile towards gothic culture, emo's, bohemians, satan worshippers, basically anyone who doesn't wish to conform or believes in something alternative to the social norms. people believe in what they wat to believe in, my friend Yazz once told the counsellor that she and i worshipped Satan just to see what would happen, extensive probing and counselling followed, which made me ask her: "Churches can be hypocritical and the bible has so many plotholes that its just hard to take seriously, so tell me this Mrs Williams: if Satan is so horrible then why is it that that some of the greatest joys in life are considered sinful? and why do people believe in god? God is just a way of explaining coincidences and pure luck, if we look for Satan in anything, you'll find it. same with god" she then thought about this and splutterred out some incoherant words, about how its bad to believe in Satan, and she asked my why i "believed" in him, to which i answred: "why not?"
If something is different then people are scared of it, they dont' know how else to react.
try that sometime, its fun to see how they react.

Emo's are people, why are they discriminated against? it's people inperfections that make them individuals, but people act so prim and perfect at my school, it's hard to distinguish them.
I wish that people were more accepting, we should revel in our differences and use them to our advantage! not hide them in a sea of wishy washy "normalcy."
I have friends who openly talk of killing everyone in the school (they'll never do it though, they're all talk trust me), friends with suicide pacts, friends who are straight A students and ones that scrape by, i myself plan to die at age 47 by hanging from the flag pole at my school, now THATS going out in style.

i could hang out with anyone, popular or not, but choose my friends for the range of diversity, its a bit ironic how the most socially acceptable people are the most boring.
i've always liked to taunt people, test them, see peoples reactions, just for fun. whenever i'm in art i can go for ages just thinking up insults to Key Ring, yes i am a bully, it's not that i'm scared of Key Ring, or that she's different- in fact i actually like her for being different, its just that she grates on my nerves, i'm a hypocrite because i say i hate bullies when i am one (to Key Ring at least, i'm generally nice to others), nut i never said i wasn't a hypocrite. i'm imperfect, a 'weirdo', witty, insulting, yet shy, i'm a lot of things, but i'm straight forward and say what i wish. It's a free country in law, but not in social economics, there'll always be prejudices and taboo subjects like incest and stuff, but by ignoring them they do not go away. they get stronger, the taboo subjects of this world is what makes it what it is: a never ending strive for perfection, i have to wonder where it will end.